On Being Unemployed

We have lived in Iowa almost 2 and a half months and I can finally say with joy that today is my last day of unemployment! (More info about jobs coming soon!) I wasn't in a huge hurry to get a job when we got here (partially because I didn't have a car for the first few weeks) but after a while all the free time in a quiet house got really lonely. The last time I remember having so much down time was probably the summer after I graduated high school. I am the kind of person that always has a lot on my plate. I love to be busy and I never stop! So, while there really were aspects of my time off that I enjoyed, there were also some hard things, and good lessons learned. I'll catch y'all up on what I did with my time, and what the Lord taught me. 

I will admit that at times, I've been a bum. I watched entirely too many Netflix documentaries. (If you want to learn about Burma, the real Amityville Horror house, or midwifery, I'm your girl.) But I've also done some productive things, including getting our apartment set up, making lots of dinners, washing loads and loads of laundry, and more. 

I wrote LOTS of thank you notes. 258 if you were curious, including all the showers and wedding. Yes, I am single handedly keeping the postal service in business, and it has been so worth it because I love to write letters and have been so blown away by our friends and family during this time.

I starting riding a bike again for the first time since 10th grade. Being married to David this was inevitable. He lowered the seat on his mountain bike for me and I've had a blast riding with him and by myself! 

I've read lots of books, consumed gallons of tea and coffee, and tried a ridiculous amount of pintrest recipes. 

 I've gone for many walks. This is one of my favorite paths near an elementary school.

I've baked. And baked, and baked. Seriously, when new goodies come out of the oven at least every other day, it is time to get a job. 

I've explored this new city that we now call home! 

Even though all these things were fun, I still struggled many days in feeling like I was useless and selfish. Rather than talking to girls on their worst days at Women's Hope, planning RUF random rides, and making muffins for my roommates, everything I did seemed selfish. The tangible ways of service I've been used to were gone. I wanted to take younger girls to coffee, to build relationships with friends who don't know Christ. But I didn't know any of these people and I didn't even know how to begin to meet them! I had visions of inviting women in our apartment complex over for lunch, but said women seemed very elusive. At times I contemplated running out into the hall when I heard someone coming up the stairs, but that seemed a bit desperate! 

However, in his grace, our heavenly Father used this time of "uselessness" to teach me some important truths. I won't even pretend to be good at applying these yet, but let me number them here to you and to myself. 

#1) My identity in Christ is NOT correlated to my work done for him.
It is so easy to fall into the trap that God loves us more when we do great things for his kingdom, and loves us less when we are bad Christians who haven't shared the Gospel in months and forget to do our quiet time. This, my friends, is not in Scripture. Yes, we are absolutely called to do all those things and more, but our obedience to him is a result of the identity that is ALREADY ours in Christ, not a means of obtaining that identity. I am his child simply because he has made me his child and purchased me with his own blood. How silly of me to think that something I can do carries more weight than that. 

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba! Father!" 
Galatians 4:5-6

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you. 
1 Peter 1:3-4

#2) My husband is my priority. 
I am learning that creating a home for David is obedience to God! This is a high and holy calling. I can serve my husband and glorify the Lord by the daily, faithful tasks that can quickly seem mundane. The vacuum, the dish rag, the mixing bowl, these are tools of a trade that I am so blessed to call my own. Making our home a place of grace and encouraging my new husband in all he does is most certainly not selfish or useless.

And so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. 
Titus 2:4-5

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband. 
Proverbs 12:4a

#3) Each season brings it's own struggles. 
The grass is always greener. When I was finishing up school the thought of having nothing to do sounded glorious. When I was engaged the first few months of marriage sounded like pure bliss. And while the free time is nice and being married is the most fun I've ever had, I am still a sinner and life is still hard. But I am being sanctified day by day, and in that I rejoice.

Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it. 
1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison. 
2 Corinthians 4:16-17