Grateful

The book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp taught me to start numbering the gifts from God that I see around me in everyday life. So just for fun, here's a little sample. I'm thankful for….

For vintage seed pack stamps, kraft note cards and handwritten letters.

 For birds that perch on bare trees in the middle of falling snow.

 For peanut butter buttercream icing, first attempts at cupcake decorating, and new friends to share them with.

 For real silver forks at a good southern bridal luncheon. 

 For a well loved crazy quilt and finding the names of all ten grandchildren hidden in it one more time.

For a momma who has been cleaning out old pictures, a best friend who sends me this one, and people I have known for a long long time.

For coworkers who know me well and some color to brighten up many hours spent in the same place.

Happy Saturday!

Eighty

Some of my favorite childhood memories are right here, sitting on the back porch of my grandparents' house in Montgomery, while Big Daddy smoked his pipe, talking and playing and laughing and learning and solving the world's problems. Because if you know him, you know that's one of his specialties. One of the perks of being the oldest grandchild is that you get to name your grandparents. Well, I guess some name themselves but I was bossy and did it myself. Anyways, the affectionately christened Big Daddy turned 80 this past weekend! I thought it would be fun to share a few pictures and memories and publicly wish him a happy birthday! I promise I'll try not to get too sentimental and reminisce my the past 22 years, because that could be a book rather than a blog post. 

Big Daddy, thanks for patiently pretending to be a patient and laying on the brick steps outside while I gave you countless "shots." Thanks for sending me a medal that year in grade school when I was sad to be the only one of my friends without one. I'm glad I'm still your favorite brown-eyed granddaughter. Thanks for taking me to see the state capitol and all the other Montgomery historical buildings so I'd have a head start on the other fourth graders for our class trip. Thanks for reading me the Hardy Boys out loud and defining all the words I didn't know. Thanks for reminding me that it is the War Between the States or the War of Northern Aggression, and never ever the Civil War. Thanks for beating me in Monopoly in a half hour more times than I can count, and reminding me to use at least four of those five fouls in basketball. Thanks for teaching me to drive in the church parking lot when I was fourteen, and being patient when my parking was horrendous. Thanks for teaching me to love learning, and that education doesn't stop with a cap and gown. Thanks for always keeping up with what's going on in my life. Even when y'all lived 3 hours away you both made it to sporting events every year. Thanks for being my biggest fan, and for praying for me every day of my life. I am so incredibly blessed to have you as my grandfather! 

This is my family with Nana and Big Daddy at their 50th wedding anniversary party, about 3 years ago. 

My brothers and I with the grandparents at their new house in Birmingham.

Big Daddy was really really sick a few months before our wedding. But his goal was to walk down the aisle by himself on August 10th, and he made it! 

This is the whole crew at Christmas this year, the last time we were all together!

The thing I've been humbled by the most as I've been sitting here thinking about this, is that   I didn't have to be a part of this family. My mom is adopted. It's not something that is a big deal to us, she's known as long as she can remember. People used to tell her she looked just like her dad, and they'd just smile. But when I remember that, I am blown away with gratitude that the Lord gave her these parents. Because of her parents, my mom doesn't remember a day when she didn't know Christ, and because of her and my dad, neither do I. What a marvelous work of grace in our lives, what a clear picture of the Gospel I have seen through this - that they loved my mom at her weakest, as a little baby that nothing to give back to them. How much more does our heavenly Father love and delight in us, not because of how much we do for him, but because He is love. 

So happy 80th birthday Big Daddy! I love you so very much!

Thoughts on Lent

I don't know about the rest of y'all, but sometimes the whole concept of Lent is confusing to me. I know so many people who use it as a time to give up sweets, or coke, etc. but often cannot articulate why. As we enter Holy Week and the last few days of this church season, I thought I'd share an insert from our bulletin that was very helpful to me. Thanks to our Pastor Wayne Larson for sharing. (Redeemer Presbyterian Church Des Moines)

What Does Lent Mean? 

The name, "Lent" comes from the Middle English word lente (“spring”), which shortens the Anglo-Saxon word lengten, a term used to describe the lengthening of daylight in the spring. In the church, it has come to mean a season of preparation for and anticipation of the crucifixion and resurrection of our Lord. The church season lasts forty days from Ash Wednesday (this year, March 5th) until Easter, not including Sundays. The reason for this is that every Sunday throughout the year is a celebration of the resurrection. That is also why the Sundays that occur during Lent as are properly called Sundays “in Lent” and not “of Lent.” The number 40 was chosen by the early church because of the biblical symbolism of preparatory testing in the examples of Moses, Israel, Elijah, and most significantly, Christ himself. As such, this is the time of the year when the church orders her readings, prayers, and hymns in a way that brings into focus our great sin and deep need for Christ's atoning blood. A period of 40 days also encompasses six Sabbaths making Easter a seventh Sabbath or a "Sabbath" of Sabbaths. 

At the heart of any worthy Lenten observance is a cultivated attitude of repentance. A true repentance means a genuine change in heart and mind, a change of disposition wherever in our lives we need to return to God. That is why true repentance and a true Lent can never be satisfied by mere external observances, no matter how rigorous they are. But repentance is no morbid introspection or “guilt trip” in which we become bound up in ourselves, turned inward to the point of unhealthy despair. Rather, it has to do with God, who is both holy and compassionate. Therefore, Christian repentance always means faith in God, trusting him, responding to his grace. That is why whatever guilt or sorrow we may feel does not crush us. For we know and trust his goodness toward us. 

The color for Lent is purple or violet—a rich color made with the costliest dyes in the ancient world. It appropriately symbolizes deep, heartfelt, and therefore costly repentance. Lent is not merely a time to remember and think about the history of our Lord’s suffering and death, but is intended primarily as an opportunity for intense self-examination and repentance, even fasting (Luke 5:34-35). The high point of Lent is reached on Good Friday, when we remember that our sins crucified Christ. 

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out… Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! Romans 7:18;24-25

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ - by grace you have been saved. Ephesians 2:4-5

Red Mountain Music's All Things New is my favorite album for this season, and you can download a free sample here. 

How do you cultivate repentance during Lent? I would love to hear different ideas and practices!

Mornings

Some mornings are a struggle. You know the ones I'm talking about? Not just an "I smeared my mascara under my eye and burnt my English muffin" kind of morning, but a "I don't know if I can make it today, why am I such a failure" kind of morning. The kind where the struggle is not only to get out of the door on time but to believe that you are valuable, that your sins are forgiven, and that there is a real, living God who is with you in your moments of vulnerability and discouragement. Well, I've had a few of those this week. I beat myself up because it is so hard for me to believe the Gospel. Seeing my sinful fear and anxiety makes me angry because I wish I could just trust more. I weep over my lack of joy. Ironic? Yes. But my reality lots of these days. I know the truth. But why doesn't it stick? Why can't i just simply have peace in the fact that the God who made me has also called me to himself and adopted me as his daughter?

On the first of such mornings I get to work and I get a text from Mom about a friend's son who was hit by a car and is in critical condition. I hear that yet another elementary student is talking about how they want to die. I chat with the mom of a family who just lost their home to a fire, and tell her that somebody from our church has a couch we can bring them when they find somewhere new and start from scratch. I talk to a friend who is weary, defeated, and her eyes don't sparkle because sometimes it feels like too much. Sure, these problems make mine feel small. But it's something more than that. Because some days those struggles could be mine. As Christians we are not spared from the real hurt - in fact, we can expect it. I think about our sweet friends who lost their son in November and several ladies I really respect whose husbands said they were done and walked out on twenty years. Those who follow Christ are not exempt from life shattering hurt and we're not exempt from days of weariness and discouragement.

So all in all, as I was driving home, the sun blinding my eyes because my sunglasses were in another purse, I thought about something that really stopped me in my tracks with gratitude. My struggle is to believe the Gospel. Hallelujah! Sure it is frustrating when my actions and my days don't line up with how I know they should. But praise be to God that I am fighting to take hold of something I already know is true in my life. Regardless of my emotions and my continual "relapses" into sinful thought patterns, I am covered in the righteousness of Christ and when the Father looks at me he sees only that. As my sweet best friend reminds me, even simply having sorrow over our sin and our lack of joy is a sign that the Spirit is working in us! I am full of gratitude that I get to fight for this, because I am daily around so many who don't have anything valid in which to place their hope. 

So if you are like me and you just have those mornings (or days or months or seasons) - take heart! And take hold of the miraculous truth that is yours. The good news is that all of our hurts are real and God doesn't say "hold on, let me take care of this guy and then I'll get to your little griefs." He meets us where we are each and every day and he loves for us to bring whatever we are facing before him. Pray pray pray and preach the Gospel to yourself as many times a day as you can. Fight to believe and apply the truth with all of your being, but take comfort that it is still truth.

Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. Romans 4:20-21

If you are a child of the King who is facing one of those life-shattering trials right now, my words can't do much for you. Nor can any one else's. I'd take a guess that you are probably already knowing more of God through this than you ever have before. Seek the only true source of comfort and strength and set your eyes on eternity because even if you don't feel like it, this is not all there is.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 1 Peter 5:6;10

Finally, if you are in the group that is thinking "Wait. What truth? Is it really for me? What are you even talking about? I am so confused." The truth of the Gospel is this:  we are separated from a perfect God because mankind missed the mark of divine perfection, and can't associate with one who is. So because of God's great mercy, but to also satisfy his justice, he sent his son to become a man, living the life we should have lived and taking the punishment for our treason. That punishment was death, and because one who didn't deserve it took it on, that death is applied to the account, so to speak, of those who trust in it. It's as if we were sitting in a courtroom, sentenced to death row and Christ said "Let me instead." Now our sin is placed on Christ and his perfect righteousness is given to us and we are able not only to simply associate with the creator, but to have an intimate relationship with him for all of eternity. This story is radical, and it is not one to be overlooked. Engage it, ask questions about it, dwell on it, and know that this crazy hope can be yours!

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come… For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:17, 21

On My Nightstand

Books Blurbs from my 2013 Readings

Ok so it has been 2014 for a long time. But never one to do things in a timely manner, I figured I would share some snippets of what I read last year! I love to read, and while I don't get to do it as much as I'd like, I still find that friends always ask me for suggestions of what to read next. So if any of you are looking for the next book to pick up, here are some ideas!

1. The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy and Kathy Keller
This book was a pre-wedding gift and I think it is one of the most helpful things I've ever read. I love the wisdom and practicality with which they explain what marriage is all about. And on that note, it is written with single and married people in mind. I wish I had read it before I even started dating because I provides a biblical framework and understand for relationships. I think I may just pick this one up and start it over again.  
2. The Intimate Marriage by R.C. Sproul
This was one of the books David and I went through in premarital counseling with our pastor Chris Duncan. Other studies I have been through of R.C.'s are very intellectual. I was actually really refreshed by how down to earth this book is. It brought to our attention lots of good topics for conversation that we may not have thought about otherwise. Reading what the modern giants of our faith have to say about their own marriages is encouraging because it brings an element of reality to it. 
3. Reforming Marriage by Douglass Wilson

Once again, I finally finished the last of our premarital counseling books. I know Doug can have a controversial reputation, but over all I really respect the man. (So does John Piper) While at times he seemed to go off on tangets and I don't agree with every jot and tiddle of this book, I was extremely challenged, convicted and encouraged, and I would recommend this book in a second! He is not afraid of standing firm on Biblical convictions, even if they seem annoying or odd to the world.

4. Wind From the Carolinas by Robert Wilder

David's uncle lent me this book last Thanksgiving, and I finally finished it. (Jim I promise I am going to give it back to you!) It began with the patriarch who takes his family from South Carolina to the Bahamas to remain a British subject and spans all the way to prohibition and his great great grandchildren. At times I got a little bogged down in the fact that the character you were engrossed in could grow old and die on the next page, but I other times it sucked me in. And I actually learned a lot about history and culture in the process!
5. As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
How do I even sum up a Faulkner in a few sentences? It is at once captivating, bewildering, and repelling. He is not a southern literary legend for lack of skill. This book was a great one to put in the mix with the others I read this year. It made me think and wonder, and it made me sad. As a person who is a little prone to melancholy anyways, I may wait a little while til I read another, but I am very thankful for the experience. 

6. The Swan House by Elizabeth Musser

I started this on our honeymoon flight to Oregon. It is historical fiction set in Atlanta. It was really a refreshing, enjoyable and just-enough-thought-provoking read. It is written by a missionary, which is interesting. Usually I am not a huge fan of Christian fiction but I do love anything set in the south and I really appreciated this book. Her themes were less preachy and more honest.
7. Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung
I learned so much about discerning God's will during my last year of college, and much of it was very contrary to current opinions. Reading this book confirmed everything I have learned. I would give it as a gift in a heartbeat to anyone facing any sort of big decision or life transition. He is down to earth and real. DeYoung holds a high view of scripture, and gracefully articulates what it looks like to know what is true, to trust the Lord, and to just do something. He unashamedly calls out many of my generation who use "waiting on the Lord" to excuse inactivity, laziness and fear. 
8. Kisses From Katie by Katie Davis

I am a little late to this book, but I still remember my freshman roommate reading every single post of her blog, so I decided to hear Katie's story for myself. While Miss Davis and I definitely wouldn't line up theologically on certain points, I found myself really challenged by her heart and her actions. This quick read by a spirited girl reminded me what radical obedience to the call of Christ looks like. I was blessed by her honesty, humility, and commitment to selflessly loving those who are in her life. 

9. The Furious Longing of God by Brennan Manning

I borrowed this book from my mom. I definitely fall out on the intellectual side of Christianity, and it was really beneficial for me to read a book about simply how much God loves me! It taught me to dwell and delight in that. If you are on the opposite end of the spectrum from me I would be more likely to recommend a more study based book, but I think we need a healthy dose of both, and I loved Brennan's simplicity and joy.
10. All Over But the Shoutin' by Rick Bragg
Oh how I love Rick Bragg. Hands down my favorite contemporary southern author, this man has a way with words. They don't let him write the last page of Southern Living for nothing. Bragg is a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist who grew up in northeast Alabama. This memoir is basically a collection of memories, most of which revolve around his mother. I thoroughly enjoyed his stories and the way he gives dignity to each character. 
11. Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges
Another one I borrowed from a friend, Jerry methodically points out how all sin is serious because it separates us from God. He points out many patterns in our lives that we may see as "normal struggles" such as anxiety, selfishness, jealousy, etc. I learned a lot from this book and I would love to study it in a group. 

Hydrangeas, Spanish Moss and Sunshine

Last weekend we headed back home for a quick visit. My cousin Molly got married and it was absolutely perfect! (I don't yet have pictures from the actual wedding, but you can check out her sweet video here) It was so wonderful to see family, soak in some sunshine, and celebrate someone I love so much! Of course we found some time for some Dairy Queen in downtown Wetumpka, and a walk in the woods at Pop and Mimi's. We even ran over to Auburn and got to catch up with a few more people there! I'm so thankful for people and places that refresh my soul. 

Iowa Lately

Or My Life In iPhone Pictures

Whew! I blink and the weeks are gone. I got an iPhone in January and I have loved snapping pictures at random times and places without lugging around my DSLR. So, here is a glimpse of our daily lives in less-than-wonderful-quality. 

 When the snow starts to melt we are left with these beauties all over the place. This is one downside to snowy winters that I never knew about until now. 

One Saturday we went to a gym called Climb Iowa with some guys from David's word. It was a blast! I snapped a picture of this guy right before we left because he was actually blind but still climbing. It was impressive.

 A note from my sweet grandparents - how much I wish for spring they don't even know!

 This is a snow mountain in the parking lot of one of the nearby malls. I was amazed at how giant it has become. (Midwest newbie, I know.) But seriously, it is taller than a tree.

 I made my first ever homemade pecan pie for the super bowl. 

I snapped this walking out because I wanted to remember how my selfless husband scraped all the snow and ice off my car before heading to work at 6:15. However little did I know that I would soon slide into a curb and the Roo would head into the shop for 2 weeks. Winter driving is the worst. 

This has been the view from our apartment more days than I can count. 

These notes keep me smiling during the mornings at work. I have really loved getting to know a lot of these kiddos. 

 I snapped this out the window of my car when I was at a red light. One of my favorite things about snow is the way is piles on the evergreens. It is really beautiful that first day.

 Our good friends had their baby and we got to meet her on her birthday! She is absolutely precious. 

 If it is sunny and above freezing, I try to go for a walk! (Well, on the 2 or 3 days that has happened.) It is crazy how my definitions of acceptable weather are changing!

 One day the snow was blowing sideways so much that it accumulated on the sides of poles and trees. Weird. 

 Pardon the early morning selfie but this was too good not to share. I found this ridiculous sized icicle one morning when I took out the trash. I thought these were only in movies!

 They obviously don't celebrate Mardi Gras up here, so I decided to try to make a king cake to share. One king cake turned into four. In one week. They were delicious but I don't know that I will be rolling out any more dough any time soon. 

 We also went ice skating at an outdoor rink downtown! David is so fast, he was a blur. Well that and I am anything but steady on the ice! Haha this is a terrible picture but a reminder of a super fun winter activity. I got some . But that's ok! 

I took a giant glass of sweet tea to work the other day in my Auburn Tervis. I miss the culture of the south every day, and I am so ready for spring. But I am learning a lot, and I know I will look back and be thankful for these long, similar, frozen days. And more than that, for the grace that carries me through each one. 

Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears us up; God is our salvation. Psalm 68:19

The their comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. John 10:10